In past years Solstice has found me in ceremony. Sometimes it was sweatlodge with my sisters. We'd be jumping into an icy cold creek after making prayers and singing songs in a sizzling hot lodge. Other years I'd be in ceremony honoring the turn of yet another season. This year the day was delightful, without formal rituals.
Late yesterday afternoon, three of us drove up from the valley to be with our sister, Boa, from Bozeman, who is experiencing chronic, and now acute, heart issues. She has had a-synchronous heartbeat episodes for several years, only recently they have lasted for 5-10 days, which leaves her extremely weak, breathless, and unable to walk very far. She hasn't worked for several months (she's an R.N.), and finally went the rounds to the specialists again. She was in Missoula to have a procedure for a second opinion about what needs to happen and how soon. She'd also made an appointment for a pacemaker in Billings on June 29th.
We often complain about our medical system, and I've chimed in. But because she has no income, and no assets, she will be able to receive the $60,000 operation for a pacemaker without having to pay for it because she is working with a "providence" hospital. This is such a relief for those of us loving her and praying for her to remain with us for years to come.
It was a joyous reunion. We four have danced and sang together for over ten years both at regular monthly meetings and at retreats. But she had to withdraw from that much activity several years ago, although she's only in her early sixties. We found her lounging in bed, thrilled to see us, and full of life. We all shared stories about the last time we smoked pot, about our kids and husbands, about our current post menapausal challenges. We laughed at our foibles and indulgences and teased each other unmercifully. Eventually Boa decided she felt well enough to walk with us to the store, just a few blocks away. It was a slow walk, marked by exclamations about the flowers, or the architecture along the way. One of us picked wild sorrel to share with the others, and we smelled mock orange (syringa) as we put blossoms in our hair. While the others shopped, Boa and I sat on a picnic table by an espresso shop and took silly pictures of ourselves. She is an artist and the clouds drew her attention as well as odd things to photograph to share with her mom (93 years old) when she goes home.
We returned to a delightful vegetable puree soup, salmon spread, crackers and a fresh-picked salad. Boa's friend who drove her from Bozeman joined us and instantly became a fifth sister to raz! And Boa teased us by saying, "You have to be nice to me! This is my last supper. I have to start fasting after this." It was too poignant, and the silence afterwards was quickly broken by our healer friend exclaiming, "Don't say it's your last supper!" While we offered her distraction, our underlying love embraced all the possibilities; we were all wondering what comes next for our beloved friend.
In spite of all the obligations the five of us had with work, family, finances and health, we managed to come together anyway! We celebrated the forces of springtime, of life longing for itself, the greatest force in the Universe. We loved deeply, witnessing to our strengths and weaknesses, and shared food, prayers and wisdom. I am so grateful I was able to do this--not just for my dear friend, but for myself. Connecting from the heart always feeds every level of my mind and soul.
Right now, as I write, Boa and her two friends are talking with the cardiologist. Later today I'll get the report. I'm keeping prayers rolling forth for healing a heart, and bringing my sister back to her rich life.
May we all continue weaving the fabric of deep and abiding friendships. May every turn of the season, every Hallmark card day, every holiday find us working our shuttle to unite in unconditional love, serve meals to one another, and laugh uproariously about our small lives!
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